Archive for December, 2009
You know how a hangover feels ~ you likely had a good time the night before but then the morning comes and you feel sick, tired and – if you can remember anything – know that you likely made some bad decisions. So it is with what I’m calling the holiday relationship hangover.
The holidays have the opportunity to be both inspirational or detrimental to a relationship. If we look around, we’ll find there are so many opportunities to make bad decisions, and the circumstances we surround ourselves with during this time of year certainly don’t help. We’re going to holiday parties, drinking more than normal, stressing out about family, celebrating a new year, socializing beyond our means, eating more than we should and in short, creating an environment that can be potentially hazardous to our relationship.
Holidays And Adultery
There are several major reasons people commit adultery, which I talk about in the book, Adultery- The Forgivable Sin. One of the main ones is to counteract feelings of stress, separation or loss. The holidays can bring ALL these feelings up at once. There’s so much to stress out about, we are easily reminded of loved ones that are no longer with us or of family we find it hard to be around. If your partner isn’t emotionally available during this time, things can get even harder. The solution here is not to let that push you into the arms of someone else, but to work things out with your significant other.
Another reason people stray is due to the biochemical craving for connection. During this time of year, people are more vulnerable and they’re looking for someone to connect with. The good news is, this is also a time of year to reconnect with family and friends, so take advantage of that and share your emotions with someone you’re close to – don’t take it out in the form of an affair.
And of course there are all the outside factors I mentioned briefly above: alcohol, parties, sweets, and so forth. These things in and of themselves lower inhibitions and can make it easier to make a mistake you’ll regret – when taking all together it can be especially dangerous! The best advice here is perhaps the most obvious – know your limits.
Protect Yourself From Holiday Stress
Bad news for candy and chocolate lovers – sweets also have a biochemical effect on stress. Comfort foods plays on stress in a negative way cause more sexual cravings. I know – it’s frustrating that it seems we’re getting assaulted even from our faithful friend, food. But again, being aware of your limits, having people you can share your holiday stresses with, and trying to not become too stressed in the first place are all good ways to protect yourself.
You also might want to practice saying “no” – especially in this economy more and more people are staying in instead of partying, cutting back on gift-giving and hanging out at home with the people who are closest to them. After all, that should be what the season is about, any way!
Related articles:
- Why Adultery Is Higher During The Holidays
- Avoid A Pent Up Purchase This Holiday Season
- Tips For Holidays With The Family – Thanksgiving, Christmas, And New Year’s
- How to Recover From an Emotional Hangover and Create a Healthy Relationship (Video)
- Beware The Hidden Signs Of A Controlling Relationship…
The holidays can be one of the most emotionally trying times of the year, especially if your family dynamics are complicated. In fact, Ram Dass says that the best way to test how together you are is to spend time with your family, and indeed the holidays can present pretty intense strain on your sanity. In addition, if you are going through any negative personal issues that your family might pester you about, then that can make the whole situation that much worse.
If you’re looking for coping strategies for those trying family get-togethers, here are a few tips!
- Accept things the way they are. You are never going to be in full control of the situation anyway, and trying to force people and things to be how you want them to be will only cause anxiety for everyone involved. Instead, try setting aside your reservations about the way things are, and just accept them as-is. You’d be surprised how quickly this one attitude shift can change your outlook for the better.
- Look at situations from other perspectives. Life is a complicated thing, and we each have our own ways of dealing with it. Your brother’s lifestyle choices or your aunt’s behavior when she’s had a couple of glasses of wine may frustrate and embarrass you when you look at it from your own rigid context, but if you can force yourself to step outside your own point of view and look at things in a more flexible way, the less you will feel like judging others. Once you realize that we are all humans who make choices and live with our imperfections, it makes it that much easier to forgive both the little and the big issues you have with others (and with yourself!).
- Get through the hardest times with a minimum of drama. Sometimes there are certain family gatherings where there is anger or bitterness involved, and you think you’d rather have a root canal than spend time with these people. At those times of high tension it can be easy to say or do something that you will regret later. No matter how much you know you’re in the right, let it go at least for now, and let everyone get through the gathering in one piece. Why is maintaining a truce your responsibility? Because you are not that person who always makes things worse; you are the one who makes things better. If you don’t think you can be that person in a particular situation, then maybe it’s better just to skip it altogether, rather than causing a scene.
- Rehearse your lines if necessary. Sometimes the key to not saying the wrong things, is practicing the right things to say. If gems like “congratulations on getting that pole dancing job” or “yes, having your wedding at an amusement park should be entertaining” don’t come out of your mouth naturally, then practice these phrases over and over until you can say them convincingly. You know your family members will ask those embarrassing questions or bring up situations that they may be incredibly excited about. if you find their stories appalling, then you need to plan your reactions ahead of time. This is especially true if you anticipate questions or comments that might upset you – for example if you’ve had a recent break-up, or have gained some weight since the last time people saw you. Be ready for whatever they might say, with a calm and rehearsed response.
- Temper your expectations. Sometimes the reality of a situation is just too much to accept cold turkey, but you can take it in baby steps, a little at a time. Try to cut people some slack and be open to the possibility that something good might come of it. A great technique is to do something to help someone who is worse off than you are. This can foster the spirit of gratitude and help you open your heart, which in turn can help you accept more of what is going on around you.
So really, there is no reason to dread the holidays in particular – think of it as an opportunity to break free of habitual thinking, as you find new ways to face situations where you are faced with painful memories.
Related articles:
- What Should I Do if My Family Doesn’t Approve of My Lover? (Video)
- Why Won’t He Tell His Family About Our Relationship? (Video)
- Why Adultery Is Higher During The Holidays
- How You Can Make 2007 Your Best Year Ever – Even if You Have No Idea Where to Get Started…
- Top 10 Resources for Valentine’s Day Ideas, Tips, and Advice
Anal sex – it’s taboo and for a lot of people, it’s also sexy and fun. Anal play can involve penile penetration, rimming or penetration with various toys designed for anal sex. Like vaginal vibrators and dildos, they can add lots of fun and excitement to your sex life – but are anal sex toys safe? Is anal sex safe period? How can you make anal sex safer?
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Making Anal Sex Safer
The anus, unlike the vaginal canal, was not designed for sexual stimulation or penetration. That doesn’t mean you can’t do it, but it will take a lot more effort to make anal sex safer for both you and your partner. The most important thing to do when having anal sex is to start slowly! Communicate with your partner about how something feels and if something hurts or feels uncomfortable, you definitely want to say something. Don’t keep doing it if it hurts! You could definitely tear something. You also want to make sure that you’re using lots of good, water based lubricant – not the desensitizing kind – to make sure everything goes smoothly. When you’re finished with your anal play, make sure you clean your toys and everything else that came into contact with your anus thoroughly with hot, soapy water or special sanitizing sex toy cleaner.
Safer Anal Sex Toys
All anal sex toys should have a wide, flared base to prevent the toy from moving its way past your anus and into your intestines which can and will happen if you do not have a base on the end of the toy to keep it from doing so. When using anal sex toys, it’s important to start small and work your way up, as opposed to starting with a very large anal sex toy. The anus can stretch to accomodate a variety of toy or penis sizes, but it is important that you don’t start large right away and give your anus time to stretch and become pliable or your anus or intestines may tear.
What Do Anal-Only Toys Really Do?
A butt plug is a popular anal toy, and it has a wide base and a narrow neck, with a wide angled “plug” at the top. It is designed to go in the anus and stay there during sex, thereby decreasing the size of a woman’s vagina and making sex pleasurable for both partners. Anal beads are another popular choice in anal toys, and the best choice would be ones that are completely plastic or silicone, without any cloth or real string parts. Cloth or string parts cannot be washed or sanitized thoroughly and can pose a danger to you and your partner’s health. Anal beads come in a variety of colors and sizes, and some models will vibrate or rotate. Anal beads are designed to be pulled out slowly or quickly depending on your preference, and can simulate orgasmic muscle spasms or increase orgasmic intensity. Anal dildos or prostate massagers are designed for men to use, and can massage the prostate and greatly increase pleasure for a man during his orgasm. Men who have used prostate massagers and the like swear they have had the best orgasms of their lives that way.
While the anus wasn’t necessarily designed for anal sex, people can and will use the anus during sexual play and have been since the dawn of time. If you’re going to engage in anal sex play, take precautions to make anal sex safer for both you and your partner. Remember, if anything hurts or becomes uncomfortable, it’s time to stop!
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Related articles:
This year, public scandals have been on the cover of every tabloid magazine and on every news channel from NBC to ABC to CNN. The Letterman adultery scandal and more recently, the Tiger Woods adultery scandal may make you wonder if there’s any possibility of having a successful marriage or relationship at all without the involvement of an affair. Even though public scandals have topped the list this year, we’ve countered them with tons of articles on how to have successful relationships and marriages, and how to avoid having an affair whether it’s a financial affair or straight up cheating or infidelity. We’ve covered just about every topic there is on love and marriage, so take a peek at our best love and marriage articles of 2009 so you can ring in the new year with a successful and loving relationship or marriage!
- Can A Bad Relationship Make You Sick?
- How To Have An Affair… With Your Partner!
- To Confront Or Not Confront: A Mistress Or A Lover
- Don’t Let The Passion Fade!
- Sustainable Relationships
- Pre-Wedding Jitters Vs. Second Thoughts
- R-E-S-P-E-C-T Is How Men Spell Love
- Marriage Essentials – The Top 3 Non-Negotiables For Lasting Nuptials
- Top 10 Qualities Most People Want In Their Partners
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- Best Threesome And Swinger Articles Of 2009
- The Good Wife
- Best BDSM And Kink Articles Of 2009
- dating/flirting-and-seduction/best-flirting-and-seduction-articles-of-2009/’ rel=’bookmark’ title=’Permanent Link: Best Flirting And Seduction Articles Of 2009′>Best Flirting And Seduction Articles Of 2009
- Did Your Marriage Fail Because Marriage is a Flawed Concept or Because You Married the Wrong Person?
We know how tough snagging a date can be, and how flirting or seducing someone can feel awkward and uncomfortable. Fortunately, there’s hope for those of you who are sometimes intimidated by getting stuck in the “friend zone” or letting someone know you really like them and want to spend more time with them. This year, we’ve had some of our best flirting and seduction articles that give you the tips and suggestions you want on how to tell if someone likes you, how to attract a woman or man, and how to flirt and seduce someone you’re interested in. Whether you’re shy when it comes to dating and potential relationships or as confident as they come, check out 2009’s can’t-miss flirting and seduction articles!
- How To Tell If Someone Really Likes You
- Feeling Shy with the Hotties? Ten Can’t Miss Flirting Moves
- How To Smell A Rat In The Dating Game – Or Find Out If YOU Are One! (Quiz)
- Can Dating Make You Sick?
- How Can I Tell If My Date Really Likes Me? (Video)
- Build Self Confidence And Get The Girl
- How Not To Screw Up Your First Date! (Video)
Related articles:
- Can Seduction and Pick Up Tactics Work for You? (Video)
- Easily Attract Women Without Sleazy Seduction Tricks – TheModernMan.com Review
- The Art of Seduction by Conversation: Using ‘The Add-On Principle’ to Get the Girl
- Feeling Shy with the Hotties? Ten Can’t Miss Flirting Moves
- Swinger Seduction – How Can I Tell If Our Friends Want to Play? (Video)
Open relationships and swinging topics were more popular this year than ever before. With songs like Britney Spears’ “3,” having a threesome is on everyone’s mind. Lots of people have already experienced a threesome, and many are still curious about how to swing and have a good time with your partner and your friends. Swinging, however, takes a bit more finesse and planning than simply getting drunk and fooling around if you want it to be successful. One of our favorite topics on Ask Dan And Jennifer is swinging, from everything on how to tell if your relationship is ready for swinging to what to do if you’re curious about having a threesome. Take a look at some of our favorite threesome and swinger articles of 2009, because next year, threesomes and swinging might just be even hotter!
- Britney Spears “3″ – Are Threesomes “In?” (Video)
- I’m Attracted To Girls – How Can I Share A Threesome With My Husband? (Video)
- How To Find Your Swinging Comfort Zone (Video)
- Swinger Danger! What To Do When Swinging Goes Wrong? (Video)
- The Psychology Of Swinging – What’s A Curious Girl To Do? (Video)
- He Feels A Threesome Will Solve Our Sex Issues – I Disagree (Video)
- The Swinger Lifestyle and Open Relationships – Is it Really CHEATING?
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Kink, bondage, cuckold fantasies, cross dressing – you name it, it’s out there. Everyone likes something different in the bedroom, whether it’s traditional, vanilla sex, light bondage or something totally extreme. Our motto is as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult and no one is getting hurt, it’s all good! This year, questions about bondage, BDSM and kink came in from all over the globe and we answered the questions you were asking about everything from watching your woman have sex with another man to a husband who wants to videotape his wife having sex with a donkey. No, we weren’t afraid to “go there!” Check out some of our best, no-holds barred BDSM and kink articles from 2009.
- Cuckold Fantasy: My Wife With Another Man – Why Do I Like It? (Video)
- How Do I Introduce BDSM To My Boyfriend? (Video)
- Is Cross Dressing A Turn Off To Women? (Video)
- Asexual Wanting BDSM But Not Sex – Is It The Medication? (Video)
- Help! My Boyfriend Wants To Be Tied Up! (Video)
- My Husband Wants Me To Have Sex With A Donkey (Video)
- Is My Foot Fetish Weird? (Video)
- Are My Sexual Fetishes And Kinky Fantasies Bad? (Video)
- What’s Your Safe Word? How to Get Off Without Getting Hurt
- Sexual Fetishes – Is My Smoking Fetish Weird? (Video)
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Ahh, sex tips. One of the most popular topics on Ask Dan And Jennifer comes full circle as we wrap up another year of great sex tips and advice. We have so many favorite sex tips that it’s hard to pick our favorites! There are so many different sex tips and great sex advice out there, and it’s always changing – so stay in tune this coming year because we have lots more in store for 2010! For now, whet your appetite for great sex advice with these fabulous articles from 2009.
- 1,001 Best Places to Have Sex in America: A When, Where, and How Guide
- Quantity vs. Quality – What Constitutes A “Good” Sex Life?
- How To Get More Sex In Your Relationship (Video)
- The Secrets Of True Sexual Confidence (Video)
- When Should You Talk To Your Kids About Sex? (Video)
- 3 Proven Tips For Improving Your Sexual Stamina (Video)
- 3 Sex Secrets… From LESBIANS! (Video)
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It's most men's biggest fantasy – 2 girls at once! But how do you make your threesome fantasy a reality? First, you have to get your partner on board. Here are some tips to help your wife or girlfriend be OK with and even want a threesome as much as you do! Discover more ways to give her better orgasms – Sex God Method – bit.ly Sex Tips and Advice from askdanandjennifer.com Distributed by Tubemogul.
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Whether it’s a luxury vibrator, an economy dildo, a male masturbator or a clit massager, sex toys can enhance masturbation for both guys and gals, as well as enhance sex for couples. With as many sex toys that are out there, you’re bound to find one you really like. But where do you find the best sex toys? What are the most popular sex toys? Should you make your own sex toys? We just introduced a “sex toy” category this year, and here are our favorite articles from the bunch.
- Sex Toys 101 – Vibrators Unleashed! (Video)
- Sex Toys 101: How To Buy Your First Vibrator (Video)
- Do You Know The 5 Most Popular Sex Toys? (Video)
- Homemade Sex Toys – Should You Really Make Your Own? (Video)
- Luxury Vibrators – The Best Sex Toys You’ll Ever Own (Video)
- Sex Toys for Boys: Male Masturbators, Penis Pumps, and More (Video)
On a similar note, some of our favorite things in the virtual “sex toy” drawer aren’t “toys” at all, but things like great lubes and flavored condoms that help make sex safer and more fun! Here are our favorites on condoms and lubes.
- Condoms 101: How To Buy A Condom (Video)
- How To Put On A Condom (Video)
- eXtreme Sex Ed: The Lube Review
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