Archive for January, 2010
Picking a present for your honey on Valentine’s Day is tough. Especially if you want to do something fun and sexy for them instead of getting chocolates, flowers or pink teddy bears. So here’s a great idea for this Valentine’s Day – get hot, get wet and get in the tub with some brand-spanking-new sex toys for a night of soapy fun!
Click here to view the embedded video.
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Spend Valentine’s Day With Your Partner
Spending a lot of money on jewelry for your partner or buying an expensive gift is way – way – overrated. Valentine’s Day is about celebrating the fact that you and your partner are together and in love – so why throw money away on a gift just to say you did something for Valentine’s Day? Why not spend time with your partner and enjoy being together alone? Most couples don’t get a lot of alone time these days, especially if they have children together. Take some time out on Valentine’s Day to make love – and be in love!
Check In To Fun
Get away from the house for a night and check into a hotel, even if it’s just across the street from where you live. Different surroundings will definitely set the mood for a night of fun and romance. Just one thing the hotel must have? A Jacuzzi or a garden tub in the room. This Valentine’s Day you’re going to have fun in the tub – but not just any old tub and certainly not the tub you take showers in and bathe the kids in every day. How romantic is stepping on a wet Barbie doll while you’re trying to get it on?
Set the ambiance in the hotel by purchasing some nice smelling bath additive that is safe for hot tubs, light some candles (or use safer LED candles) and bring strawberries and champagne. Or cheeses and champagne. Or a decadent dessert and champagne. Get the picture? Bring champagne. Just make sure that whatever you bring to eat isn’t going to sit heavy on the stomach and make you want to nap instead of play. Also, bring something to do. Cards for strip poker, a sexy movie to watch or anything that sparks your interest. You don’t want to get through the door, put your bags down and say, “Okay, are you ready to have tub sex now?” Make it more interesting than that.
Foreplay In The Tub
Make sure that you’re also well prepared for having fun in the tub. Waterproof vibrators are always fun, especially if this fabulous Valentine’s Day occasion will be their maiden voyage. Sexy bathtub games are fun too and are great at keeping things from getting boring too quickly. There are a wide variety of fun, sexy toys that can be used in – and out – of the bathtub to make this Valentine’s Day a great one. Being prepared with fun things to do in the tub and lots of sexy foreplay ideas will help make the night memorable instead of quick and dirty. Remember, it’s all about having a great time and enjoying being with your partner!
Use Offer Code: DanJenn at AdamAndEve.com and here’s what you’ll get…
- SAVE 50% on almost any single item on your first order!
- 3 FREE Adult DVDs and An incredibly sensual mystery gift
- Plus FREE Shipping on your entire order
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The pressure is on – give your girl an orgasm, give her more than one and give them to her now. Society says that for men to truly please their partners, they need to give her multiple, over the top orgasms and become a master lover. How realistic is this? Do women actually want multiple orgasms? Or are some women okay with just one, or none?
A Woman’s Climax Pattern
When a woman climaxes, it is true that she remains in the climax “zone” for some time before coming back down to her pre-aroused status. When men have an orgasm, however, he immediately relaxes and his body goes back to normal and must stay in a non-aroused state for a period of time before allowing him to become turned on again. In Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, John Gray, Ph.D. compares a man’s climax pattern to a “blowtorch” – which quickly heats up, fires and quickly burns down, while a woman’s climax pattern is more similar to an “oven” – taking more time to warm up and cool down. But because a woman’s body allows her to be primed for multiple orgasms after the first one, does that mean she really wants one?
If The Orgasm Is Good Enough…
Men are obsessed with quantity. The more, the better. The bigger, the better. Therefore, men feel like the more orgasms they give their partner, the better the sex and the more satisfied she will be afterward. However, a woman doesn’t necessarily need multiple orgasms to have satisfying sex. In fact, some women are satisfied with just one orgasm while a few women don’t necessarily need an orgasm to enjoy sex with their partners. Some women feel pressured by their partners into having multiple orgasms, and therefore the orgasms become more forced and less pleasurable each time. Many women are more focused on the quality of the orgasm rather than the quantity of orgasms. If the orgasm is good enough, it’s entirely possible – and even plausible – that she will be completely and utterly blissed out with just one.
How To Give Her THE Orgasm
Make sure she’s relaxed, both mentally and physically. Like the oven, she needs time to preheat and get warmed up before the action starts. For a woman, this means she needs to be both emotionally and physically warmed up. Give her a massage or draw her a hot bath and let her stress from the day melt away. She will be more open and receiving to your efforts. Sexually speaking, when you get started, take it slow. Focus on her and don’t jump the gun. Don’t just go for the gold and expect her to have an orgasm right away. Show her that you are really into her, and enjoy being intimate with her. When you’re pleasing her, listen to her feedback – her body language and vocals will let you know what she likes and what she wants more of. A combination of all of these things can help your partner reach THE orgasm she wants and has been craving, and this time, it will be so good that just one will be enough.
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We’ve all been there: we get lulled into a false sense of comfort for one reason or another, and as a result we end up trusting the wrong person. It can be a harsh lesson, especially in the case of one of my students, who emailed me with her ethical dilemma. All names in the following story have been changed.
Dear Maryanne,
I feel so stupid that I’m even in this situation, but I need some advice for an ethical question that has come up. A friend of mine set me up with a man named Alan, whom I already knew to be a great philanthropist in our community. She recommended him as a potentially great match for me, and so we started going out. Things progressed quickly, which I felt comfortable with because my friend liked him so much, and he did in fact seem to be good and upstanding. Within a short time, we decided to spend a night together.
When the subject of condoms came into the conversation, Alan insisted that he had been tested for STD’s and was clean. Who in their right mind would accept that as an excuse not to be safe? Me, apparently, even after warning my goddaughter about safe sex and sending her to college with your book and a supply of condoms. I wasn’t even smart enough to follow my own advice.
Unfortunately, within a few days of sleeping with Alan, I became infected with herpes. Alan refuses to talk about it with me, becoming evasive when I asked him to send his test results to my doctor. So now I don’t know whether I should warn my friend not to set Alan up with anyone else, or just put this whole episode behind me and forget about it. I don’t want to cross any ethical lines, but at the same time I don’t want other women to go through what I’m going through now. Help!
Thank you in advance,
Laura
Dear Laura,
Thank you for sharing your experiences. It is always difficult to deal with when we discover that the guy we thought was decent and honest is actually the opposite of all those things. It can shatter your trust and cause untold amounts of emotional distress. It’s especially difficult to have such a harsh lesson dealt to you when you have obviously been doing your best to use your CORR® relationship techniques. You have learned the hard way that it’s not enough for someone else to endorse someone – you have to do all the detective work yourself.
But that doesn’t mean snooping or digging around – it’s as simple as communication and observation. Ask the 14 questions outlined in Hindsight, add any of your own, and then wait and see. If you become sexually involved too early, the “wait and see” part can become distorted, as your affection and attachment to this person can cloud your judgement and make you blind to any warning signs that come along. Of course, you probably realize all this now.
There is a silver lining to your cloud, though. You have the opportunity to love yourself and turn this seemingly negative experience into a way to grow and learn. So how will you figure out what to do now, as a child of the Divine? Here are some tips to get the ball rolling:
- Spend a few days re-centering your ego. Get away from asking for outside validation by covering all your mirrors with construction paper. Look inward instead for answers, remind yourself about all the ways in which you are unique and strong and gifted, and watch how quickly you move back to a center of internal reference.
- Cleanse yourself with a clearing ceremony. Make a ritual of writing down everything you need to heal, and all the things you want to let go. You can let a few friends in on it, make a beautiful and sacred place to hold your ceremony, and surround yourself with beauty and wisdom.
- Take a break from sex. Six or nine months of dating without sex may seem like forever, but you’re worth the wait, and a period of abstinence can help you keep your thinking clear. Use the opportunity to look at why you trusted Alan so soon, and next time when you date, let the trust build naturally over time. You will see how you behave on dates, as well as what sort of men you are attracting.
I think you’ll find, that if you’re patient and gentle with yourself, that as you go through this process your answers will surface. You will soon see what is the most appropriate way forward for you. Please do contact me if you have any more questions.
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Everyone wants better sex. Whether your sex life is suffering or you’re already having great sex, there is always the desire to make it better. So how can you have better sex? Improving your sexual fitness. Surprisingly, however, improving your sexual fitness is no different than improving your body’s fitness. Here’s how to get healthier so you can have even better sex than you’re already having.
Click here to view the embedded video.
Toss The Junk Food
Food is fuel for our bodies, and we use that fuel during every activity that we do, including sex. Filling your body with potato chips, fast food and things that aren’t really nourishing isn’t going to give you the fuel you need for a great sex life. Instead, try to swap poor food choices with better ones. You don’t have to eat perfect all the time, but making an effort to make better food choices every day will make a difference, even if you splurge for the chocolate cake every once in awhile. Swap a hamburger for a grilled chicken sandwich at the drive-thru, or drink ice water instead of soda.
Exercise!
Yes! Exercise is the key to a healthier, happier body both in and out of the bedroom. Does that mean you have to spend hours at the gym working out every day? Not hardly. Making time for exercise a few times a week will definitely help improve your overall fitness – and your sexual fitness! Try for a few minutes a day, or even 15 minutes just a few times a week. Take the stairs at work instead of the elevator, or take a walk with your partner in the evening. Anything that you can do to get your heart rate up and improve your stamina is going to make a difference.
Strengthen Your Core Muscles
If you do decide to do any weight lifting or muscle toning, work on your core muscles – you know, the ones you use during sex. Abdominal muscles, glutes and leg muscles are among the most widely used muscles in our bodies when we have sex and if these muscles are in poor condition, you can bet that you’ll be pretty sore after sex. Improving the strength of your core muscles can help you last longer in bed and be more comfortable in new and different sex positions.
Minor Changes Will Make The Most Difference
When most people vow to become more fit, start exercising and eating better, they often bite off more than they can chew. Going on a strict diet or forcing yourself to work out every day is only going to burn you out really fast, instead of actually improving your sex life. Try to make small changes here and there that you are more likely to stick with instead of quit. Focus on making minor changes in your eating habits and getting a little bit of exercise each day or a few times a week to avoid overwhelming yourself. You’ll start noticing the changes in the bedroom before you know it!
Take just a minute to check out ‘The Sex God Method’: “If You Want to Give Women Screaming Orgasms, This Video May Be The Most Important Video You’ll Ever Watch”
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- Discover How The Foods You Eat Affect Your Performance In Bed!
- Sexual Abstinence – Can You REALLY Have Intimacy Without Sex? (Video)
- Taming The Tiger: Exploring Female Sexual Pleasure
- How To Use Sex Positions To Last Longer In Bed And Improve Your Performance By Up To 500%
Men who like women understand women and don’t need them to change very much. Women who like men understand men and don’t need them to change very much. This lack of need or even desire for your partner to make changes is a primary reason for marital happiness.
Carin Rubenstein, author of The Superior Wife Syndrome, says that two out of three marriages suffer from a set up between men and women where the wives feel as though it’s all up to them because they can do it all so much better. And the men let them do it all, giving up and giving in to the women’s superiority. Those marriages are not happy unions because the wives feel like martyrs and the husbands experience themselves as inadequate.
Do Lower Expectations Mean A Happier Marriage?
In the third of marriages that don’t suffer from this syndrome, Carin has observed that the wives in those marriages have lower expectations of their husbands than do the superior wives. Expectations such as how perfect the house is, when and how the lawn is maintained, when and how the family cars are serviced and cleaned, how the little children in the family are fed, bathed, and put to bed, etc. Rather than a lowering of expectations around the family’s morals or values, it has to do with the details of life that are aggravated by the differences between the sexes.
Joseph and I recently interviewed Carin Rubenstein for our podcast. As a result, we wound up in an on-air conversation about how understanding I am about the coffee rings I frequently find on the kitchen counter. In our house, Joseph is the only coffee drinker, by the way.
Later, a listener fired off a bunch of questions about why can’t a man just finally learn to clean off the counter? Although she was used to listening to us talk about the benefits of taking 100% responsibility for the results that show up in a relationship, as well as hearing us discuss the natural differences between the sexes, it frustrates her no end for men to be sloppy housekeepers and the women to have to either nag them about it, surrender to it, or clean up after them. It turns out this is a major source of conversation among her and her friends. They’re all suffering from it!
We talked with her about men we know who are excellent housekeepers but emotionally absent from their wives and children. That no one is perfect and there is always the necessity for compromise and letting go. With our perspective of taking 100% responsibility for the results of your relationships, a natural question for us to ask her was, “Why have you created a string of romantic relationships with men who were all sloppy housekeepers; and, if that matters to you, are you ready to create a different kind of man with which to fall in love?”
You Create Your Own Reality
As creator of your own reality, if you bear a grudge in general against the opposite sex, the universe will conspire to prove you correct and only bring men and women into your life who will confirm your worst beliefs about them! Which brings us back to my first paragraph, men and women who like the opposite sex understand the opposite sex and don’t need them to change very much. This very much affects living with the opposite sex.
Women who like men know that men think differently than they do and they don’t usually lose patience with that fact. Men are more focused than women. They like communication to get to the bottom line quickly. Whether they are good or sloppy housekeepers, there are always things they just don’t see because their focus is centralized, whereas women naturally see a bigger picture.
Men live in the present moment. Women anticipate the future. And so when a snow storm hits at Christmas and he’s tracking in snow, grit, and mud to free up the driveway and take care of downed branches, he isn’t thinking about Christmas coming and the need to have the house cleaned and picked up for the sake of the holidays and company coming. After all that hard work, he wants to relax with the paper and call it a day.
How Superior Wife Syndrome Can Ruin Your Relationship
If his woman has the superior wife syndrome, it makes her nuts that he can’t read her mind, understand what’s required to get comfortably through the holidays, anticipate her needs, the children’s needs, and the soon to be company’s needs. If his marriage is one of the happy third not suffering from this syndrome, his wife appreciates all the hard work going into freeing the driveway of snow and the yard of branches and, frankly, happily works around him.
She’ll ask for a helping hand here and there but not with an attitude that, were it put into words, would sound something like, “Listen, you jerk. There’s a lot to get done around here, can’t you see that?” That martyred mind-set is the purview of superior wives whose husbands have given up because they can neither read their wives’ minds nor think like women think. It just isn’t in their DNA. They do not have access to it.
Happily married people understand the differences between the sexes and either accept it and get used to it or they celebrate those differences. Either way, their expectations, compared to the folks suffering from the superior wife syndrome, are lower. I’d rather be happy than have expectations met that will really only satisfy my desire to be right and not contribute to the health or happiness of the relationship. How about you?
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It’s one of the most commonly asked questions about sex – when is the right time to have sex? Unfortunately, there’s no concrete answer to this question because the answer is different for everyone. Here are some things to explore on your own to decide if you should wait to have sex.
Question: I am 14. I like this girl and I want to ”do” her. Should I wait or what?
–YouTube Viewer
Click here to view the embedded video.
Teenage Hormones
Teenagers and even pre-teens are just beginning to discover their sexuality. As you go through puberty, your body is responding to different hormones in different ways. Both boys and girls experience an increase in sexual desire, which can be overwhelming when you’ve never felt anything like it before. If you’re a teenager thinking about having sex for the first time, try to remember that almost every other teenager is or has been in your shoes before. Incredible sexual desire is just something that teenagers go through as they grow into a mature adult and learning how to handle it is part of being mature enough to start having sex.
What To Consider Before You Have Sex
There are many things to consider before having sex. First of all, make sure your partner wants to have sex too. Make sure you are both comfortable with each other and this is something you both want to experience together. Do some research before you have sex. Find out how to use a condom and how to prevent pregnancy. Learn what STD’s are and how you can get them and how to prevent contracting them and spreading them. Encourage your partner to do the same, or better yet, learn about these things together. Sure, it doesn’t sound very fun to read about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases before having sex, but it’s part of being responsible enough to have sex. A few other things you might want to think about before having sex is your morals and religion. Is there any reason that you or your partner might feel guilty for having sex now instead of waiting? Is talking to your parents about having sex something you and your parents have an open enough relationship to do? Talk to your parents if you can, and definitely talk to your partner. Perhaps you and your partner are only comfortable with some things and not others. Those are things that are important to discuss before you take the plunge.
There’s No Rush
When you’re a teenager, it may seem like the sexual frustration will eat you alive if you don’t have sex right this minute. Don’t worry – it won’t! Dating%2C+Love%2C+and+Sex)”>Masturbation is a great way to relieve sexual tension and there’s nothing wrong with waiting to have sex. There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until marriage, waiting for the right person or just waiting until you’re a little older. Sex isn’t any better if you do it now and it’s not any worse if you wait until later. In fact, you may just want to wait until tomorrow, or next week. That’s fine too. Just make sure that when you’re ready, you’re ready and your partner is too.
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More and more people are using the Internet to meet people, and with inventions such as Skype, web cams and audio chatting, it can sometimes be like you’re in the same room with someone. But is web camming only good for sexy hookups, or can real relationships be built from online introductions?
Hi, I have a question. I’ve been web camming with this guy for like a month and a few weeks now. We are going to meet soon, but I am worried that it’s too much sex. We will probably have sex on the first date, is this bad? I know you said intimacy can be at any time, but is the first date too soon? Can relationships come out of hook ups?
–YouTube Viewer
Click here to view the embedded video.
Decide What You Want
Do you want a sex-only relationship with this person? A hookup or a quickie, or a friend with benefits? Because that’s what you’re setting yourself up for. If that’s what you’re looking for, then go for it! But if you’re looking for a relationship to come out of your web camming and chatting, you need to let your friend know. Don’t lead him into thinking he’s got a booty call relationship now, if you want something more from it. Let him know that you like him and want to take it further. See if he’s on the same page.
A Relationship With Your Own Fantasy
Often, when we develop relationships with people online, our brains are filling in the gaps that a normal, face to face relationship wouldn’t have. You aren’t truly getting to know this person, their mannerisms and their personality – you are only getting to know one facet of them. Instead of taking that for what it is though, our brains are really good at inventing what we don’t know. Therefore, you truly are getting to “know” this fantasy version you have of this person instead of getting to know the real person. That can lead to a great deal of let down later on when you really do meet and get to know them. You’re most likely subconsciously creating a fantasy version of your friend that he or she could never possibly live up to.
Taking It Slow
If you’re looking to begin a real relationship with this person, take it slow when you meet them face to face. While you may be tempted to have sex on the first date, especially if you’ve been “intimate” with them before online, this is only going to label the relationship as being about sex. Get to know your partner just as though you were getting to know someone you met for the first time in person. Just because you and your friend have chatted and web cammed online, doesn’t mean you two know each other a great deal more than two people who just met. Treat the relationship that way and take it slow if you want it to develop into something more. If you’re simply looking for a quick, sexy hookup, have fun and be safe!
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Contraception has been around for many years, in many forms. Some forms of contraception are more reliable than others, while still other forms of “contraception” are downright myths. Here’s how to separate the facts from the fiction.
1. I Won’t Get Pregnant If I Douche After We Have Sex
No, no and no. Douching after sex actually pushes the sperm up farther into the vaginal canal, making their trip through the vaginal canal to your waiting-to-be-fertilized egg that much shorter and that much easier. Also, once the sperm reach the cervix and travel through the small opening into the uterus, it’s game over. No douching solution can go that far.
2. I Won’t Get Pregnant If He Pulls Out
Yes, if he pulls out, most of the sperm will go wherever he chooses to ejaculate after he does so. A penis, however, is a loaded gun! There’s ammo in the barrel at all times, even before your partner has an orgasm. Anytime a penis comes into contact with your vagina, you run the risk of becoming pregnant, no matter how “low” that risk seems to be.
3. I Can Have Safe Sex As Soon As I Take My First Birth Control Pill
In a perfect world, yes. However, most women need to take the pill for an entire month before it truly becomes the advertised 99% effective. To avoid getting pregnant, a woman must use backup contraception, such as spermicide, a condom or a diaphragm during this month to keep from becoming pregnant while her body is adjusting to the pill.
4. I Can’t Get Pregnant If I’m Breastfeeding
In truth, breastfeeding is designed to tell the body it doesn’t need to drop any more eggs. But our bodies don’t always listen to us, and breastfeeding isn’t a surefire way to protect yourself from getting pregnant again. In fact, some women report that they felt they were more fertile after having a baby than before because they got pregnant again right away!
5. I Won’t Get Prenant If I Have Sex And I’m A Virgin
Nope. Not a bit of truth to that one. If your ovaries have dropped an egg (which they do every month) and your partner ejaculates inside your vagina, that’s a recipe for pregnancy whether you’ve had sex a million times before or have never, ever had sex.
6. If I Pee Or Shower Right After Sex, It Will Prevent Pregnancy
Sperm travel very fast and it’s likely that many of them have already reached your cervix before you even hop in the tub. When men ejaculate, they ejaculate hundreds of millions of sperm. There’s just no way to wash – or urinate – all those sperm away. It’s impossible. And ladies, all your egg needs for pregnancy is 1 tiny, little sperm.
7. Certain Sex Positions Can Prevent Pregnancy
No matter what position you have sex in, if your partner ejaculates in your vaginal canal, his sperm are going to start swimming towards your cervix and possibly a waiting egg. Even if you’re standing up and you think the sperm are going to go down instead of up, those little guys can swim.
8. I Can’t Get Pregnant If I’m On My Period
While your risk of getting pregnant while on your period is lower than any other time of the month, it’s not low enough. Most women, however, have irregular cycles and many women can drop an egg or more than one egg during any time of the month. In addition to that, sperm can live inside your cervix and uterus for up to 5 days!
9. I Won’t Get Pregnant If We Have Sex In A Hot Tub.
Yes. You Can. The water in a hot tub is pretty hot, but not hot enough to kill the 500 some million sperm your guy is ejaculating.
10. I Can’t Find A Condom. A Balloon Or Plastic Wrap Will Work.
No! Can you imagine how uncomfortable a balloon will be for your partner? Not to mention it will probably bust or roll off. Plastic wrap? Surefire semen spillage. A condom is the only thing your partner can put on his penis during sex to help prevent pregnancy.
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When a man has an affair with a woman who does not match his wife in terms of intelligence, accomplishment, and class, it is because he has no intention of replacing his wife with her. He has no intention of making a life with her. He has no intention of placing himself in the position to be her protector and provider. No matter how hot he is for her, he doesn’t respect her and has no intention of taking care of her. She exists to take care of his needs. To whatever extent his power and the seduction of pretending she is somehow superior to his wife feels good to her and seems to meet a need of hers; he does not, in fact, exist to serve her.
Does He Really Love You?
As Steve Harvey so beautifully says in Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.
When a man loves you he does three things:
A man in love with you professes his love for you, both to you and to others.
A man in love with you provides for you.
A man in love with you protects you.
When a married man has an affair with you, he is in no position to profess his love for you to anyone outside the relationship because it puts him and his reputation at risk. He is in no position to provide for you either. Even if he buys you expensive gifts or sets you up in an apartment, you have no legal claim on this man. When he changes his mind about you or if he dies, you get nothing and you have no recourse to use your romantic tie to him to get anything.
Steve Harvey says that providing for his woman is “the very core of manhood.” As his mistress, your man isn’t free to express himself with you at his masculine best. This results in resentment towards you and contributes to his lack of respect for you.
When a married man has an affair with you, he cannot protect you from those who will judge you once they know you are romantically linked to a married man. He isn’t in your life enough to protect you from the slings and arrows of life. He cannot protect you from people who mistreat you because to do so puts him at too much risk. When a married man has an affair with you, he puts you in harm’s way. This is why the movie, “Fatal Attraction,” terrified a generation of men. When the mistress put the cheating husband in harm’s way, she completely undermined his power in that relationship, in his marriage, and in the rest of his life.
In the short term, the thrill of the chase, the excitement of being “bad,” and the newness of sex with you can make him appear to be gloriously happy with you. It will not last.
Are There Any Exceptions To This Rule?
There is one caveat to this observation. Sometimes two people genuinely fall in love while cheating on their spouses. Sometimes, when marriages are in trouble and ending, the next love comes along before the marriage has had a chance to come to an end. It is a complicated way to begin a relationship and carries fragility and vulnerabilities that singles who fall in love don’t have to deal with. In such a case, you will find your man either professing his love for you, providing for you, and protecting you or taking action to speed up the day when he can do so.
If you are a extramarital-relationship-beginning-can-it-succeed/”>married man’s mistress, be deeply honest with yourself about how you perceive him. Take a good long look at whether or not he is making himself free to profess his love for you outside the relationship, genuinely provide for you, and be there to really protect you. If not, confront the fact that he will never really be yours but will always belong to someone else and decide if this is good enough for you.
You are worthy of better love. If he can’t provide it, what are you waiting for?
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Fetishes and fantasies are everwhere, and it seems like almost everyone has their own fetish or fantasy that turns them on. Some people have more than one, but the majority of these fetishes are fairly tame, such as a blindfold in the bedroom, handcuffs or even a little hardcore BDSM. Some fantasies fall outside the “norm” though, and it can be difficult to know where to draw the line. Does bestiality cross that line?
Question: What are your opinions on certain fetishes like furries and bestiality?
–YouTube Viewer
Click here to view the embedded video.
When It Doesn’t Cross The Line
There are lots of fetishes and fantasies that don’t cross the line. For example, shoe fetishes, smoking fetishes, lingerie fetishes…the list goes on and on. It would be impossible to name every single fetish out there, especially since new ones are being discovered almost every day. So how can you determine if your fantasy is kosher? The golden rule here is that as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult and can make an informed decision about being involved, and as long as no one is getting seriously hurt, you’re good to go. Which begs the question, when does a fetish or fantasy cross the line?
When It Crosses The Line
The golden rule applies here too. If someone involved in the activity isn’t a consenting adult and is not able to make an informed decision, you need to find another way to play. This includes kids, animals, people who are too intoxicated or people who are otherwise impaired and do not have the ability to make an informed decision about being involved in a certain activity. So does Sex With A Donkey (Video)” href=”http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/sex-intimacy/bondage-fetishes-fantasies/my-husband-wants-me-to-have-sex-with-a-donkey-video/”>bestiality fall into this category? Absolutely. Animals cannot answer for themselves whether they want to be involved in an activity and anyone’s best guess is that they don’t and they are quite frankly, unwilling participants.
Are Bizarre Fetishes Wrong?
Not necessarily. While pedophilia and bestiality do indeed cross the line, there are a great deal of “bizarre” fetishes that actually don’t. Urophilia (also known as a golden shower or being urinated on or urinating on someone else), and klismaphilia (the practice of giving or receiving enemas for sexual gratification) are among many of the so-called “bizarre” or “weird” fetishes out there that do absolutely no harm as long as only consenting adults are involved.
If Your Fantasy Goes Too Far…
If your fetish crosses the line, get some help. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor or a counselor about it. They can help you find other ways to satisfy your sexual needs without hurting or taking advantage of others, including animals. If your fetish is just plain strange but doesn’t hurt anyone and everyone involved is an adult that is cool with it, go for it! Have fun and enjoy your fantasy. As long as you follow the golden rule, it’s no one else’s business what goes on behind closed doors. On that same token, don’t judge others for their fetishes or fantasies that might seem strange to you – as long as you follow the golden rule.
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