Archive for August, 2010
Guys like their strip clubs and porn as much as they like their football and beer. But what role do they play in your relationship? Should you be angry? Should you be jealous? We’ll get to the bottom of this so you don’t have to.
What She Said:
We’ve talked a lot recently about marriage – is it dead, should you just shack up, should you have an open relationship? What do strip clubs and porn have to do with all this? Well, they are the great equalizer.
What’s that? What do titties, pole dancers and money shots have to do with love? Fidelity, sexual release, sexual fantasy and role-playing come to mind. Sounds kind of fun, doesn’t it? Whether you’re in a brand-new relationship or have been married for ten years, a healthy appetite for sex still remains at the top of the “Must Have” list for a happy partnership. The visual prompt of an evening at a strip club, or an evening in with a DVD from Sugar, can stimulate ideas for you and your partner. It doesn’t have to be an all-the-time thing, but throwing a little something in the mix can definitely spice things up.
To use a broad generalization, men are visual and women are emotional. “Allowing” your guy the option of blatantly ogling some strippers can be freeing – for both of you. Hell, what not get in on the act and go to a strip club together? You can see what kind of things turn your partner on – and emulate them at home. He’ll most assuredly find a way to return the favor! The best part? It’s a way for you to both safely indulge in play without repercussions. Believe me; that beautiful pole dancer isn’t a threat and she doesn’t want to go home with your man. She wants to finish her shift and get out of those painful shoes. There’s rarely any harm to “just looking.” The same goes with porn – and even less so, because you can only lick a T.V. screen for so long before realizing it doesn’t taste very good.
Please note: this isn’t to say your boyfriend/husband isn’t happy with you. You are beautiful and you are more than enough woman for your partner! This is more about shared fantasy and exploration – you get an equal say in what you’re comfortable with, as well as what is exciting! If you feel like you have to give into the strip club experience in order to keep your relationship, this isn’t for you. If you feel equally “naughty” and are having just as much fun – go to the bank, get a bunch of one-dollar bills and enjoy your night!
What He Said:
I actually don’t like strip clubs. There. I said it. I’m all for hot naked chicks, but to me, a stripper is just a really hot used car salesman. She doesn’t give a shit about you. She’s just looking to make the sale, and she’ll do anything to get that commission. Also, most strippers are really bad at their job: convincing the men in the joint that they’d actually like to do them. Really great customer service from strippers is as rare as calling a 1-800 number and getting a U.S. based customer service rep. That, and any strip club is locked down. I mean, seriously, they operate on DEFCON five. You look at one of those girls wrong and some large man will appear out of nowhere and beat the shit out of you. It’s very anal and restrictive in that way. And laws vary from state to state, so things may be a lot tamer than you’d think.
Still, it’s good for our female readers to go, mainly because they’ll never get jealous or upset about their man going again. You’ll be like “He gets turned on by this? This is way lamer than Chippedales! At least then I get to grab his cock!” Well, maybe not that far, but you get the idea.
And your man will love you if you go, because every guy wants to be the one who BRINGS a woman to the strip club. You go, you put down a dollar, you get molested by the stripper (she WILL take your top off, don’t know why, it’s just one of the laws of the universe), and you get a lap dance, and he’ll be harder than Chinese arithmetic. He will molest you when you get home if he makes it that far.
Porn is a tricky subject, because it’s written and shot, more for men than women. That’s changing. Damn feminists. Lol. If you find yourself a female made porn then you can find the plot, emotion and all that other crap that women care about and he can see hot chicks naked and going at it.
It can be a great way to spice up your relationship, especially if you’re monogamous. If you are, it’s going to get boring at some point, or you’re going to need to spice it up. That’s just a given. Porn and strip clubs are a tool. Like a hammer. You can build a house with one or bludgeon someone to death. It’s not the item that’s bad. It’s the person and the application that matter.
Related articles:
- How to Strip and Lap Dance for Your Man – and WHY You Should…
- How To Avoid The Top 5 Mistakes Single Guys Make In Clubs
- How To Know If She’s Straight (and interested in you…), Bisexual, or Lesbian? (Video)
- How Role Reversal Between Men & Women Can Affect Your Relationship
- Watching Porn – How Do I Make My Lying Husband Come Clean? (Video)
Making first time sex special is a concern for many couples who ready for sex but haven’t taken that big plunge yet. Many guys are worried that their girlfriend won’t find the first time pleasurable, and they’re afraid of sex being uncomfortable for her. Here’s how you can make the first time – or any time - better for her.
Hey, my question is - this will be mine and my girlfriends first time, and I would like to know how to make this very special for her. I’m a little worried it will be too short and I would like to know the best way to keep it going to satisfy her.
–YouTube Viewer
Click here to view the embedded video.
Make Sex About Her
If you want to ensure your partner enjoys sex, make the sex all about her. Focus on her pleasure instead of your own. This is where foreplay can really become handy, because instead of rushing into penetration (which likely will be uncomfortable at the very least if it’s her first time) you can focus on getting her aroused through foreplay. Start out by helping her to relax with an erotic massage, and make sure you take your time. Don’t rush into anything, even if you are tempted to hurry up and get your own pleasure. Taking the time to pleasure your partner is well worth it, because in the end sex will be more pleasurable for the both of you.
Give Her Oral Sex
Women love oral sex. That’s a fact! Most women, actually, can’t climax through vaginal stimulation alone and require some degree of clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Helping your partner reach orgasm through oral sex before the actual act of penetration will help get her aroused and more physically receptive to your penis. This is especially helpful if your partner is having sex for the first time, as it will be more comfortable and pleasurable for her if she’s naturally lubed up. Another benefit of oral sex is that your women actually find it emotionally fulfilling as well. She’s going to love the fact that in that moment, even if it is just for a few minutes, she is the complete and total focus of your efforts. She gets to lie back, relax and enjoy receiving your efforts to please her!
How To Make It Last Longer
Many guys who haven’t had sex before or who haven’t had sex in a long time are worried about reaching climax too quickly once they start having sex with their partners. This is definitely a common concern, because many guys report they reach the brink of orgasm more quickly than they would like. To make sure you don’t climax too soon the first time, try masturbating often before the big event. Masturbation will help relieve pent up sexual tension, so you don’t feel the need to climax right away. This will give you more time to spend with her focusing on her pleasure and ensure that first time sex doesn’t go too quickly. These are actually all great tips that you can use beyond the first time as well, to make each and every time as amazing for her as it is for you.
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Low and unhealthy social interaction can produce the same amount of stress in our lives as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, or being an alcoholic, or not exercising. A new study from Brigham Young University reports that healthy relationships improve our odds of survival by 50 percent. “The idea that a lack of social relationships is a risk factor for death is still not widely recognized by health organizations and the public,” write the editors in a summary of the BYU study and why it was done.
The Benefits Of Healthy Relationships
The study was developed by analyzing data from nearly 150 previously published studies that measured things like frequency of human interaction and tracked the resulting health outcomes over a period of years. Because information on relationship quality was unavailable from these studies, the 50 percent increased odds of survival may actually be an UNDERestimate of the benefit of healthy relationships.
While the study isn’t just referencing relationships with significant others, but rather all our daily interactions – from husbands and wives to co-workers and friends – some of the same techniques I teach for healthy romantic relationships can be applied to the relationships we have with other people in our lives.
For example, having what I call in my book, Make Up Don’t Break Up, a “smart heart-to-heart” can be beneficial to a friendship or a co-worker relationship as well as a marriage. It teaches us to create an environment for honesty and conflict resolution. Being able to put heated emotions aside and let each person share their experiences and feelings is beneficial beyond a romantic relationship and can work for professional and personal relationships alike.
Separation Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
Another technique I teach is break up to make up and this can be helpful for many types of relationships that have come to an impasse. Typically, I recommend it for those in committed relationships who are on the verge of break up or divorce as a way to separate from each other with the clear intention of getting back together. The separation ideally allows each person to determine or restructure their priorities and, yes, also ideally makes the heart grow fonder. But in any closer personal relationship – such as within a family or in a close friendship – there can come a time when it’s a wise decision to take some time apart.
After all – if you’re implementing some of these techniques to create happy relationships in your life, you may actually live longer! And according to one of the study authors: “When someone is connected to a group and feels responsibility for other people, that sense of purpose and meaning translates to taking better care of themselves and taking fewer risks.”
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Sex Toys & Lubes – bit.ly In today's video, find out how to choose the best lube (personal lubricant) for you; which are our favorites; and why you should try them yourself. Sex Tips & Advice from AskDanAndJennifer.com Distributed by Tubemogul.
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Sex feels great, so it’s natural to wonder if sex does any more than just feel good. The good news is that it does! Sex can help just about every aspect of your life including physically, mentally and in your relationship. Here’s how great sex can be great for your body and why you need to start having more of it!
Question: Is having sex regularly good for the body?
–YouTube Viewer
Click here to view the embedded video.
How Sex Benefits The Body
Sex actually does lots of great things for your body! Not only does it feel good, but it will help make you healthier all the way around. Sex boosts the immune system and helps more oxygen travel to the brain when your heart starts pumping and your breathing gets faster and faster. By boosting the immune system, sex can help you fight off diseases like the common cold or the flu. Couples that have sex often are generally healthier and have to visit the doctor less. Very vigorous sex will burn lots of calories and work your thigh, leg and abdominal muscles even better than weightlifting reps at the gym! Many women have used regular, vigorous sex as a way to exercise and lose weight. Sex sends endorphins throughout the body that help relieve pain, including headaches. Forget using a headache as an excuse to getting out of having sex on a particular night! Sex can actually be a great cure for headaches. And of course, everyone knows that sex will help you sleep like a baby! Many men and women use sex instead of sleep aids to help them fall asleep faster and sleep deeper, so they feel refreshed and ready to go in the morning.
How Sex Benefits Your Relationship
Having sex often with your partner helps build an intimate sexual bond that carries throughout your relationship. You’ll feel closer to your partner even when you’re just hanging out. With regular sex, your attitudes will be better towards each other and you’ll fight less! Sex will also help improve your self esteem and help you to feel loved and emotionally close to your partner. Sex also relieves stress, so if you’re having a tough day at work, it’s a great way to “cool off” and relax. If you don’t feel like you have enough sex in your relationship, try as best you can to have sex more often. Sex will snowball and if you have more, you’ll start to want more. Having more sex increases your libido so you can have more sex!
How Sex Benefits You
So sex can boost your immune system and help you fight diseases, help you feel better about yourself and your relationship, and help make you healthier! Different sex positions can also help you lose weight! On top of all this, sex feels great and satisfies one of our basic desires as human beings. After all, humans are indeed sexual, no matter how society tries to suggest that we ought to hide it or pretend that we don’t want it or like it. So enjoy sex and have lots of it, because it will definitely improve your life in many more ways than you thought!
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Love & Sex Answers: bit.ly — Question: Can you flush condoms down the toilet??? Ask Your Love or Sex question: 1.On our YouTube channel page (not private message) 2. In the Love & Sex Forums: bit.ly 3. On our Facebook page – Facebook.com Distributed by Tubemogul.
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More and more couples today are “cohabitating” meaning they live together without the intention of ever getting married. Once thought of as “shaking up” and frowned up on, the practice is gaining more and more acceptance. But is it really right for you? If you give us five minutes of your time we will give you all the answers you’ll ever need.
What She Said:
What are the benefits of marriage when you can get the same thing by shacking up? On the one hand, it’s nice not having to worry about legalities when you live together. On the other hand, when you get hitched you can throw a party and get a lot of cool gifts! Stepping beyond the material, there is something to be said for standing up together and turning from “boyfriend and girlfriend” to “husband and wife.” (Or whatever lovely combination of partnership you’re in. Everyone deserves to get married, if they so desire!) Taking that step of saying “I do” in front of friends and family can be an incredibly moving moment, as well as the beginning of something deeper.
But what if you don’t want that little piece of paper to “bind” you? Living together is a fulfilling option. It’s great to share a home and a life with someone you love. The experiences will be similar to your married pals – with the convenience of a little mental freedom. You can walk out the door anytime you want to – but you’re choosing to stay!
On the other hand, being married does come with legal backup that can make a lot of things easier – insurance, home ownership, in the event of a medical emergency – you get the drift. Sounds sexy!
Seriously though – there are a lot of things that go hand in hand with getting married. I still hope and believe that people are committing to each other for one big reason – love. Getting hitched isn’t a guarantee, especially considering today’s divorce rates; but it can provide a certain peace of mind in a working partnership.
It really comes down to this – what does your heart tell you? What’s best for you and your partner? A ceremony is one thing – it’s how you treat each other that will matter in the end. There are so many ways to have a happy home – getting hitched is only one of them.
What He Said:
I really wish more people would handle relationships like I do. You’d say: “That was great! Money’s on the dresser! See you next time.” Kidding.
Seriously though, what’s the point of just living together? I don’t know. I mean, yes, you don’t have the “piece of paper” but if you live together long term, over seven years, you’re basically common law anyway. There’s really too much pressure put on people to be married, to have “successful” marriages, to not get divorced and the like, and if you’re a child of divorce, you’re more than likely to be extra sensitive to those pressures. Divorce is painful and messy and that’s just stupid. It should be as easy to get divorced as it is to get married. But it’s not and that can make you gun shy too.
Basically, this is a personal decision and you should make it like you make any other: on your own terms. You shouldn’t get any pressure from your parents, your partner or anyone. And if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Good luck. You’ll need it!
Related articles:
Premauture ejaculation is a common issue for many men, both young and old. There’s nothing wrong with reaching orgasm quickly during sex, although, it can definitely put a damper on a couple’s sex life if he’s going too fast for her. Here’s how you can slow it down and last longer in bed so she can reach orgasm too!
Question: I have a problem, when me and my girlfriend have sex it’s like 5 minutes into it or so then I’m ready to cum. Is that normal to go that fast? How do I keep it together longer so it’s more pleasurable for her as well?
–YouTube Viewer
Click here to view the embedded video.
Masturbation Can Help
Masturbating can actually help a premature ejaculator to last longer in bed. Many men who have girlfriends, wives or regular sex partners feel like they don’t need to masturbate, however, they end up reaching orgasm within just a few minutes of having sex with their partner. By masturbating, men can somewhat “desensitize” their penis so they don’t feel the urge to climax as soon as they start receiving pleasure. You won’t desensitize yourself to sex completely, but you will program your penis to be able to withstand pleasure for longer. Practice getting close to orgasm when you masturbate and then back off a little before you actually climax. Do this several times in a row to practice holding and controlling your orgasm.
Take A Break During Sex
It’s not bad to take a break during sex when you feel like you’re almost on the brink of having an orgasm. Back off and let your partner know that you’re close, but you’re not ready for the sex to end. Do something else, such as light foreplay or pleasure for her. This coud be a great time to give her oral sex or finger her and give her an orgasm too! When you no longer feel like you’re ready to blow, resume intercourse with your partner. You can do this more than once during sex – in fact, you can actually do it as many times as you want until you just can’t control yourself anymore! Many men report that doing this during sex helps their partners to reach orgasm as well, and makes their orgasm more powerful and pleasurable when they finally do reach climax. If you don’t trust yourself to stop when you’re close to having an orgasm, try sex positions that put your partner in charge.
Practice Makes Perfect
The more sex you have, the longer you’ll last each time. Just like any other activity, if you want to be really good at it, you have to practice at it! Instead of going a week or a few days between having sex, try having sex every other day or even every day if you need to at first! Adding masturbation into the mix as well will really help you to become a master of controlling your own orgasms. You won’t have to do this forever either – as you become more accustomed to controlling yourself, you’ll eventually be able to do so even if you haven’t had sex for weeks. Even though premature ejaculation is a common problem for me, there are lots of ways you can fix it if you just put the effort in.
Related articles:
- Premature Ejaculation Problems? Try the Triple ‘S’ Technique to Last Longer in Bed
- Premature Ejaculation: What To Do When IT Happens (Video)
- Preventing Premature Ejaculation – Are These 4 Myths Killing Your Sexual Stamina in Bed?
- 99.9% Of Men Don’t Know How To Recognize Premature Ejaculation Before It Arrives – Join The .01% Of Guys That Do… TODAY!
- Forget Everything You THINK You Know About Premature Ejaculation – Things Have Changed!
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Love & Sex Answers: bit.ly — Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, my question for you what are both of your opinions on the concept on “soul mates”, and can you put that concept into what it's like on a daily basis? Ask Your Love or Sex question: 1.On our YouTube channel page (not private message) 2. In the Love & Sex Forums: bit.ly 3. On our Facebook page – Facebook.com Distributed by Tubemogul.
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Love & Sex Answers: bit.ly — Question: Hey, my question is, this will be mine and my girlfriends first time, and i would like to know how to make this very special for her. I?ma little worried it will be too short and i would like to know the best way to keep it going to satisfy her Ask Your Love or Sex question: 1.On our YouTube channel page (not private message) 2. In the Love & Sex Forums: bit.ly 3. On our Facebook page – Facebook.com Distributed by Tubemogul.
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