A dating question for married women?
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idatemarriedmen.com visitor My_two_cents_plus_a_quarter wants to know:
I am a divorced however, during the course of my failed past marriage, my ex-wife began emailing her senior prom date from years ago. Although they were both married, they made a date to go to dinner and then attend a professional sporting event together.
At the time I pitched a fit and told her that I wasn’t comfortable with this. She thought I was redicilous for thinking it was anything more than a casual thing. She went regardless of my comfort level.
I am curious to hear some other opinions from successful and unsuccessful married people out there.
I appreciate the comments and this happend some time ago, I have always been curious to hear the opinions of others. Personally, I would never have asked my spouse if I could go a date with an ex ..the past is the past.
Jen, that is a very honest answer and I do feel that double standards exist, but I am not sure to the extent.
Starlight….thanks, but this happend during the course of our marriage.
A dating question for married women? help from other idatemarriedmen.com visitors…
Tagged with: Double Standards • Fit • Jen • marriage
Filed under: Help
I would have no problem with my wife doing that, as long we talked about it ahead of time. If she just went ahead and made the arrangements without talking about it first, I’d be suspicious and uneasy.
If you were married, and your wife went and had dinner with an old flame, thank God you two split up.
Even though this issue is over and done for you since you’re now divorced, you still need to let this go.
She didn’t respect you or your feelings about her going on a date with him. It should have been a date with both spouses present.
i’m married. i don’t think married people should go on dates with people other than their spouse. even casual dates.
I can see both sides point of view. I think I would be furious if my husband did that, but would be mad at him if he didn’t let me :) Yeah double standard or hypocrite whatever you want to call it. I think you have to be very very secure in your marriage to not let something like that bother you.
You are not married to her so you have no say so do you?
Let me start by saying I have the greatest respect for my husband. I think that is why, in my opinion, she was out of line with this. When you respect your partner, you consider and take into consideration their feelings on things. the fact that you were uncomfortable with the situation didn’t mean that was more than casual, it simply meant you were uncomfortable. She could have invited him to your home to meet you and have dinner together if she only wanted to catch up with an old friend. I am not sure pitching a fit was the best response, but you being upset was perfectly appropriate. I have male friends, my husband knows them and we visit all together.
the only thing that i can say is that if my husband didn’t want me to do something, i wouldn’t do it. That’s called respect for other people’s feelings…..i would hope that he would do the same for me.
Yea….if this were me I would have invited my partner before I would go alone with an old fling..even if it were from high school.
On occasion I’ll go out with a male friend. It does not diminish my love for my husband in any way. If anything, it strengthens the bond the two of us share with each other. But I can certainly understand the way you feel. I think you are much closer to how the vast majority of people feel and react to that subject.
I think that it’s inappropriate, especially if you expressed concern over it. If she knew that it bothered you she shouldn’t have went.
I think spouses have to come first in a marriage, and if you expressed to her your discomfort with the idea of her going out for dinner with her ex, then she shouldn’t have gone.
I think it’s perfectly okay for married people to have opposite sex friends with whom they go out, BUT not exes … I would never be comfortable with that, and I think you’re absolutely right that in order to have a successful present and future, the past needs to be left in the past.
I don’t think you were ridiculous at all – however, I think from her perspective, she may have been absolutely certain that it was NOT a date (and that’s why she got mad at you for suggesting it was). She, however, should have deferred to you on this one – your feelings should have been her primary concern, not whether or not she was able to have a social outing with some guy from high school. If you were ordinarily perfectly reasonable with her about seeing friends and being able to go out, then she should have had enough respect for you and her marriage to refrain from doing the one thing that bothered and hurt you.