Do i marry? i m in a pickle.help please?
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idatemarriedmen.com visitor Nitin B wants to know:
I am 29 yr old male. well i am an immigrant in this country and am facing some tough problems i want to resolve. Basically, in my culture we hve arrange marriages taking place. I have a girl i had seen whome i do like. However, like many people in this mental health section i am suffering from depression. I m not sure of i should tell her this before marriage, because i am pretty sure it will break if i do….if i do not it will be like i have cheated with her and i dont think i would be able to forgive me forever…if you know what i mean? if i m not married this time then may be i will have to live with a dog forever in my life….this issue is really eating me alive…..also is the fact tht i m bisexual.
I m attracted to men as well as women……its so hard for me to categorize my self…..not even sure if i should get married or call the enganement off?
Do i marry? i m in a pickle.help please? help from other idatemarriedmen.com visitors…
marry her, don’t tell her your bi.
Don’t get married.
yah and u should tell her because eventually she will find out
Don’t get married just yet. Seems like you still have a lot of issues with yourself, that wouldn’t be fair for the person you’re marrying to take on, without knowing about the issues you have.
if you think the person your going to marry will leave you because of your depression then she isnt the person you should marry. this is the same person who will be with you your whole life, she will have ot except you for who you are and what you do.
tell her what you told me..
Holy crap… well dude, you have to come clean with her… tell her everything, then let her decide if she still wants to marry you or not. If you don’t, and go ahead and marry her, you risk loosing everything… including your self-respect. Do the honourable thing… talk to her.
u need 2 tell her….your setting urself up 2 fail my friend if u dont.
You have to be honest with her if the marraige has any chance of success.
If u r homo than call off engagement,dont spoil her life.
don’t marry her girls like straight trust worthy men you should look for another bisexual
First of all, if you can’t be upfront and truthful with her now, you are wasting your time and her feelings by getting married. It would be selfish of you to marry this girl without her knowing the whole story about you, if she loves you and the two of you stay together then you will have a much better marriage. Next question, if you are bi – why are you getting married at all? Sounds to me like you need to be more truthful with yourself first. You say you like this girl…….consider her feelings! How would you feel if the tables were turned?
Honesty should be the base and foundation of the marriage. Tell her everything. If she leaves you, it wasn’t meant to be.
Tell her you’re bi, since you’re so apparently in love with her [excuse the quotations, it's just a habit]
Think about it, but don’t think about her reaction, think about the future, but take time and think of both reactions come to play, think about how it’ll work if she doesn’t care then think about if she does.
I think it’s great that you know what sexuality you are and are still trying to get married. :)
well if u have to ask people maybee your not ready for marriage but if u really love her tell her you have depression and u r bi if she loves u she will stick by u who knows u coul have a 3 way?
Honesty is the best policy. You seem to have many, many problems…and in my opinion, you should get some personal mental health counseling AND go WITH your intended for pre-marital counseling. If this IS the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, forsaking ALL others, starting off clean and fresh with ALL your cards on the table is the prescription for a long and happy relationship. Don’t jump into marriage without COMPLETE commitment! Good luck to you both.
If you do not tell her that you have depression and that you are bisexual, the marriage will be based on lies. That’s not a good beginning, nor does it predict a very good future. It’s not being fair to her either and selfish of you. As you know, being bisexual carries risks of sexually transmitted diseases one of which you could easily pass on to her.
There is nothing wrong with being bisexual. It’s who you are… It’s when you live a life of lies trying to hide it from other people that you end up unhappy and depressed.
Celebrate who you are and live life to it’s fullest, but not at the cost of hurting someone else.
First and foremost, BE HONEST before you marry this girl! Is it fair to her if you don’t tell her? How long do you think your marriage would last once she does find out? Best to get it all out in the open before you enter into a marriage…other wise, you are setting you AND your girlfriend up for heartbreak! It’s tough thing to come clean, but best to be HONEST. She may love you enough to accept it, but if she doesn’t, you and she both can move on BEFORE all the hearbreak and expense of divorce!
Your a bi-sexual depressive who doesn’t want to live with a dog so is entering an arranged marriage.
Get a grip! If this is for real you need to ask yourself some serious questions.
Are you willing to commit to a relationship with one person for the rest of your life?
Can you be good enough to the woman to make her happy throughout her life?
Will she be able to keep you happy fortherest of your life?
If you answer no to any of these don;t marry if you answer yes to all of them here is what to do:
If you have acted on your atraction to men you must tell her
You must tell her about your mental health problems and what your are doing to control them
Then you have to tell her you are ready to commit you think you can make each other happy in this marriage and then sit back and let her make the decision!
get help then get married. always be honest.
i completely understand what you mean…but think you spoil her life..there is nothing that has happend till now…im sure be true to yourself and you will forever be happy…donot tell her that you are a bi..just call it off by discussing that you have some serious personal problems..like finanacial..career and so on..and you are not ready and are even confused of your future…if you think you will not be able to forgive yourself by doing this..think that if you spoil her life the impact will be double…it will be easy to convince yourself …in future with time things will heal…but if she is also involved you really not be able to forgive yourself…
On the other hand you have no right to spoil someone elses life…im sure she will understand and will carry on with her life..and for sure will find another suitable partner
I know its easier said than done..but once done..you will be very relaxed..and come on 29 is not that late at all..infact things are changing..you are still young to get married in amy situations…hope this advise helps…carry on and take the rite step..god is always there watching…help yourself and he will always be there to help you..
If you don’t come clean with her and tell her everything, you are not showing her any respect and there will be no chance of her ever trusting you when all your secrets come out. You have a lot of major issues you need to deal with before you should ever think about getting married!!!
In all honesty, it would be better if you not marry anyone. It would not be fair to you or the other person. Especially since you are having a conflict on your depression, bisexuality, and any other issues you may have. It would be better for you, to stay single, and fill your life with people you enjoy and try to learn to think on happy, positive thoughts (this creates endorphines that you are lacking). If you marry and it does not go well, you are caught in a different place, that will bring on the depression and you have a whole new set of problems and decisions to make. I believe YOU know what you should do, but are needing someone to tell you, your right…stay friends with your girl, but don’t marry her….also make sure not to have a baby…..
You need to figure out who you are before you get married. You should definitely be honest and tell the girl about your depression, bisexual desires, and everything else that may come out later. Don’t start off a marriage badly. You will eventually find the right person (not a dog). Get some meds for the depression.
Call off the engagement or else you will ruin this womans life.