Sex is what some men are good at and some aren’t – but how do YOU stack up against the best lover your girl has ever had sex with? Can you hold a candle to him?
Women Love Making Comparisons
They compare things like diamond sizes, or this year’s sales with last season’s – wishing to see who’s got the biggest stone, or the more elegant product line. (I told you they’re into details.) Most of all, women love weighing guys against each other when it comes to sex. Some are blunt about it, others are more sophisticated and subtle, but when they compare, boy, do they compare! They’ll weigh a man with just about anybody & anything.
Through comparisons, a girl fishes out who she considers the “best.”
What She’s Looking At
She’ll measure you against her ideal man – that perfect gentleman she’s been fantasizing about since she was 14. She’ll compare how you move, with how he moves. How you do her, and how Mr. Perfect supposedly does it. She’ll note every aspect of you and weigh it against her ideal. This of course, includes your penis size as well. Very easily, you will lose – you are bound to lose. (But don’t worry, if she cares enough, she’ll turn you into a project and begin changing every detail of your soul so you approximate her dream guy. Good luck on that one.) She’ll compare you with all the guys she’s ever had sex with – well, at least those she remembers.
So What About Sex?
There’s a hierarchy of guys in her head and if she’s been around the block more than once, she remembers the losers, the one-night stands and yes, even the breast masher. She’ll even compare her orgasms with you and those she gets via self-service – heck, she’ll even compare you with her Sex Toys – Should You Really Make Your Own? (Video)” href=”http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/sex-intimacy/sex-toys/homemade-sex-toys-should-you-really-make-your-own-video/”>sex toys. She won’t readily own up to these superficialities, she may not even notice she’s doing them.
But this does happen, and in this game of comparisons, it pays to be unique. The female brain is always on the prowl for something new, something different. The moment she realizes you’re just like the rest, she will brush you off. A girl can’t attend to every insignificant person that comes her way.
Her Emotions Are Involved Too (Of Course)
Her emotions will certainly command a big share of how she sees you as a bedmate. Everybody may see you as a pitiful excuse for a human being, and therefore a waste of skin, but if you’ve hostaged a woman’s emotions, everything and everybody else don’t matter. You may really lose all comparisons, but if she’s that into you, she’ll let you win! If she’s flushed with EMOTIONS, if she’s sooo head-over-heels, you could ooze with sexual lameness and she’ll still be adoring you.
Letting It Go And Being Confident
By the way, none of these comparisons and emotions thing is objective. They are never objective. Remember, people, especially women, are not logical creatures, although they’d like to think they are. You’re dealing here with judgments that can be muddled by her perceptions, expectations and preferences. (Come to think of it, who in this world is completely objective?)
Many guys ask me: Is it possible that one woman will judge you great in bed while another count you as average?
Of course! Knowing the nature of humans and sex, expect that. Nobody bats a perfect thousand. Accept that, have confidence in bed anyways and you’re golden.
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Oral sex can give a girl an incredible orgasm, but not if she’s tense and uptight. Get your lady relaxed before oral sex if you want her to enjoy it! Here’s how!
Why Relaxation Is Key
If her mind is relaxed but her muscles are so tight that her legs snap shut every time your head gets to her knees, you aren’t going to get very far during cunnilingus. Like we said earlier, a massage will both get her mentally and physically prepared for cunnilingus. If massage, however, isn’t on the menu tonight, there are a few other things you can try to get her so relaxed that her legs turn into butter.
How To Get Her To Calm Down And Chill Out
A Hot Bath
This is an oldie but goodie. But we don’t mean draw her bath, plop her in it and go about your business for thirty minutes until she’s done. We mean light candles, talk to her and wash her hair for her. Let her know that you are interested in her! If done properly, a conversation geared towards her while in a soothing, hot bath will do the same thing as an erotic massage – kill two birds with one stone and get both her mind and body relaxed and ready for cunnilingus.
A Foot Rub
Believe it or not, foot rubs can do even more magic than a back massage and a hot bath put together. Why? Studies in reflexology show that pressure points all over the foot lead directly to specific points in the body. When these pressure points are activated, the corresponding point in the body becomes relaxed and can promote wellness. A good foot rub will activate all of these points and will turn her entire body to putty.
Brushing Her Hair
Brush it while watching a movie together or braid it for her if her hair is long enough. You can also do variations on this by scratching her scalp or using one of those metal spider-looking head massagers. It will make her spine tingle! This is a great way to get good, relaxing feelings from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet.
Anything Physically Relaxing
Use your imagination. If your idea to get her mentally relaxed is walking around in the mall and window shopping together, then buy her one of those chair massages (or get one together). Some malls even have water massage beds. You can also do something like buying her a manicure or pedicure (or both!) and complimenting her nails when she is finished. Anything that will physically calm her is the ticket to a successful cunnilingus session with a mind bending orgasm at the finish.
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Dating tips are a dime a dozen. Everybody and their mother seem to think that they have the answer to finding the right guy for you. When you’re out with somebody that you don’t have a strong connection with, you probably let a few things slide in your dating etiquette. But what about when you meet somebody that you actually like?
Meeting somebody that you actually like and think you could have a connection with can put you on Cloud 9. When you meet somebody that you think you could have a future with all you can think about is not screwing it up. Here are some simple dating tips with excellent results to help you keep the guy you like.
The Right Attire
Men like women who have classic looks. This means leaving the animal prints and other out there fashions at home during the date. It doesn’t matter if you work on Wall St. or at McDonalds, there are fashions that are affordable for any income that will allow you to have a classic look. Black dresses and other classic fashions can be found at various outlet stores. Dress up for your date but make sure that you’re dressed appropriately. You won’t want to wear a black dress to an outdoor event.
Realize When He’s A Loser
If a guy picks you up and has no plans then he’s a loser. If a guy picks you up and he’s not dressed appropriately, he’s a loser. If a guy doesn’t ask you questions or only talks about himself, he’s obnoxious and a loser. Don’t date a guy that you have no connection with just because you think that he’s interested in you. You know that it’s not going to work out and it’s best to move on. Realizing that he’s a loser from the get-go is the best way to avoid getting hurt or annoyed during the date.
Ordering Etiquette
One of the best dating tips out there is to monitor what you’re ordering at a restaurant. When a date is going well you should be on your toes about the guy paying for your meal. Only order food, drinks or dessert when the guy orders these. This is a courtesy that a lot of women do not take part in. If you really want dessert, then offer to pay for it. He probably will not let you, but he will love the fact that you tried to pay for yourself. The last thing a guy wants to do is drain his bank account every time he takes you out. If you are still hungry after the date, raid the fridge when you get home.
Don’t Bring Up The Exes
Never, ever, ever bring up exes when you are out for the first couple of dates. This is one of the best dating tips or a reason. Bringing up the fact that your ex cheated on you or left you for your best friend is not something that a guy wants to hear. Baggage is extremely unattractive to men and when you talk about your exes it can come off that you’re not over the relationship yet. If you do bring up your exes, don’t expect another phone call from your date.
Be Easy
No, not that kind of easy. Be easy in the sense that if plans change or the restaurant has a long wait you are not a complete prima donna about it. Men don’t want a woman that they have to be on eggshells with. Comfort on a first date is pretty foreign and there can be shake-ups along the way. However, when you let things roll off your shoulders you can show him that you’re cool and collected. Making a big deal about something that you ordered can have him thinking that you’re high maintenance.
Dating tips can be extremely useful when you meet the right guy. Being easygoing during the date and having the right etiquette throughout is essential to getting a second date. Never go out with a guy that you know isn’t right for you from the beginning and do not talk about your ex-boyfriends during the first couple of dates.
Dressing appropriately for the date is essential and you should know exactly what you are going to do and where you are going beforehand. Taking these dating tips to heart should yield you some pretty great results. If you break them you could find yourself at the bottom of a bin of Vanilla on a Friday night instead of having a fun conversation with a guy who will treat you right.
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Valentine’s Day is the most romantic time of the year. But what are you supposed to do when you have to spend it alone? Being alone on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a complete drag. When you’re with somebody you expect to have plans. When you’re alone and the depression starts to set in, it’s best to keep yourself occupied. There are a lot of things that singles can do when they’re alone on Valentine’s Day. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.
Get Together With Friends
Chances are not all of your friends have significant others. It’s a great time for couples, but it can also be good for singles. The majority of singles don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. Get together with your other single friends and head out to a bar or nightclub. You will probably find other singles that are trying to escape from the fact that they don’t have anybody. Enjoy yourself and don’t let the holiday get you down.
Go To A Movie
Movies are one of the greatest escapes. Being engrossed in a movie can take away any thought of being alone on Valentine’s Day. Don’t choose a romantic film or something that is too harsh. An action film or a thriller is your best bet to keep your mind at ease. Check your local listings and choose a movie that starts a little later. An 8 o’clock show is perfect because you will probably need to be there by 7:45. This will take up your entire evening. Before you know it, the evening will be gone.
Go To A Party
So your friends are having a Valentine’s Day party and you don’t have anybody to go with. Usually you would just blow it off because it’s going to be filled to the rim with couples. Go anyway. Yes, there will be a lot of couples, but there might be singles. Single people tend to play third-wheel with their couple friends and some rely on them to find their next relationship. You could meet a friend of a friend and end up spending Valentine’s Day with a new flame.
Take A Short Trip
Is there a concert going on in the next town over that you would like to see? Even if you have never heard of the band, take a short trip. This is a great way to change up the scenery and get you into a different mindset. This works great with art exhibits or craft shows also. Grab a copy of your local paper and look at what is going on around your area.
Spend It With Family
If you don’t have any single friends and you don’t want to spend the whole time alone, shack up with some family. Family will never tell you to butt out so hitch a ride with them and have dinner or go to a show. Even if your family is not doing anything special, you can just spend it catching up. Your family will be understanding of what you’re going through and can lend a shoulder to cry on or even put a smile back on your face.
Work Through It
Work has the ability to take your mind off of anything. If you have a big presentation coming up or you really need to get a jump start on a busy week, go ahead and work through it. Your mind will be off of being alone on Valentine’s Day and can get you through it without a major breakdown.
Join An Online Dating Site
If you’re completely tired of being alone and Valentine’s Day is too much to handle, join an online dating site. You can spend Valentine’s Day online dating and looking at potential dates for the future. Just thinking about a new relationship could be enough to give you perspective. When you join an online dating site, make sure that it’s one you like. There are a lot of free options out there, but a paid dating site tends to have more sophisticated clientele.
Being alone on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be depressing. There are a lot of activities that you can do to help you get through it without a mind-melt. Hit some friends up to go out or take in a great movie. Work can take your mind off of the event, but your family will always have open arms.
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