The first thing to do before trying to catch a cheating wife is see if the signs of adulterous behavior are there.
If you are asking yourself, “How do I catch my cheating wife” you may be getting ahead of yourself. If you have solid proof that your wife is already involved in an affair then you don’t need to read any farther. If you are at a point in your marriage where you have that terrible feeling deep down inside that your wife is cheating then it may be time to start looking for the signs of infidelity. If the signs are there then it is time to find out the truth so that the emotional turmoil not knowing can be put to rest.
For many men dealing with a wife’s infidelity can be something they don’t initially want to deal with. The emotional impact can be more than you want to handle and any decisions made to deal with the betrayal are entirely personal. Advice will come from any number of people including friends, family and coworkers but in the end only you know your true feelings on the issue and how best to deal with it. Read the rest of this entry
Infidelity isn’t something people like to talk about — much less confess. Does anyone really want to admit cheating on a spouse, especially to a pollster. But the following poll results might help put in perspective the frequency and number of adulterers.
Infidelity statistics
It’s tough to get a handle on how many of us are having affairs, given the inherent secrecy.
- 22 percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives.
- 14 percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives.
- Younger people are more likely candidates; in fact, younger women are as likely as younger men to be unfaithful.
- 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses’ extramarital activity.
- 5 percent of married men and 3 percent of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse in the 1997.
- 22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past.
- 90 percent of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong.
- 50 percent of Americans say President Clinton’s adultery makes his moral standard “about the same as the average married man,” according to a Time-CNN poll.
- 61 percent of Americans thought adultery should not be a crime in the United states; 35 percent thought it should; 4 percent had no opinion.
- 17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity.
Source: Associated Press
Two fascinating, powerful articles I’ve read recently (available here and here) have led me to revisit the issue of who is really to blame when a marriage collapses under the unbearable weight of what is normally an otherwise inconsequential extra-marital affair.
Are we justified in blaming the normally middle-aged man, who should have controlled himself? Why would he risk so much for so little?
Explanations are easy to come by, ranging from economics (He finally has enough money and status to be attractive to sexy young women at the peak of their reproductive power) to existential dread (he’s coming to terms with his own mortality by lashing out symbolically against his own impending old age and death) to the wife’s life cycle (she’s nearing menopause so he’s biologically driven toward the fertility of younger women). Each of these may have some measure of truth, but none answers the most pressing question: Why do men have such overwhelming hunger for variety in their sexual partners-not just at mid-life, but always?
The Coolidge effect has been discussed elsewhere. Essentially, it’s just a scientific way of saying men (like many male mammals) need variety in partners to maintain sexual interest. If the ghost of Calvin Coolidge weren’t haunting him, a man would simply buy a DVD or two of his favorite porn actress and watch it over and over the rest of his life. Knowing how the movie ends is hardly going to ruin the experience for him If you’ve never been to a porn gateway web site, you’ll be astounded by the variety and specificity of the offerings there: everything from “unshaved Japanese lesbians” to “tattooed redheads” to “overweight older gals.” Read the rest of this entry
In the movies, the other woman is typically depicted as a young, delusional being who just fell in love with the wrong person. The married man, of course, is the user. He’s the great deceiver who disregards his marital vows in the effort to fulfill his deep, sexual lust. Right?
Although these stereotypes are popular, the truth is that the other woman may have a variety of agendas fueling her behavior. Depending on her age, social class and marital status, she might be carousing with another woman’s man for several reasons other than love. Below are the top five.
#5 She needs to feel powerful. This point is where I believe Monica Lewinsky falls. Sleeping with the President of the United States probably lifted her self-esteem and made her feel powerful. It’s a trap women fall into who like to sleep with high-profile men. They get their energy and life from an accomplished man instead of finding other ways to build themselves up.
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Rule of Cheating #10
- Have fun and enjoy yourself
An affair should feel good. If it doesn’t, find a better lover. Every moment should give you an unbearable lightness and sense of well being. When people start to ask why you seem so happy, tell them there must be something going around, and if they are lucky they will catch it too. Then wink, smile, and saunter away.
Rule of Cheating #9
- Communicate your needs and desires with your lover
Be sure that your lover wants the same things out of an affair that you do. Don’t get caught in a fatal attraction. Venus and Mars not only want different things out of marriages, they also want very different things from affairs. A man may say he lacks an emotional bond with his wife and needs that from his lover. What he wants, however, is a physical connection that provides sexual gratification. Women on the other hand want an emotional connection. They are happy to forgo sexual intimacy but not romance.
Rule of Cheating #8
- Involve your family with the new you
If you decide you want to improve your body and a gym membership is the answer, encourage your spouse to join the gym too. Keep your family involved in any changes you make to your physical appearance, spiritual well being, or professional life. Never embark on activities that will set you apart from the family or your spouse.
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Two-timing politicians, take note: cheating has never been easier. AshleyMadison.com, a personals site designed to facilitate extramarital affairs, now boasts slick iPhone and Blackberry versions that help married horndogs find like-minded cheaters within minutes. The new tools are aimed at tech-savvy adulterers wary of leaving tracks on work or home computers. Because the apps are loaded up from phones’ browsers, they leave no electronic trail that suspicious spouses can trace.
Even as public outrage boils up over the infidelity of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and Nevada Senator John Ensign, millions of Americans are sneaking online to do some surreptitious cheating of their own.
Unlike Craigslist’s plain-Jane listings, AshleyMadison lets cheaters customize profiles, chat anonymously and trade messages about adulterous preferences — all in an effort to make cheating as simple as using Match.com.
The formula is working. AshleyMadison’s membership has doubled over the past year to 4 million. The Toronto-based site, which takes its name from the two most popular female names in 2001, the year it launched, enjoyed another big boost this week, following Father’s Day, when CEO Noel Biderman says men often feel underappreciated. Traffic to the site tripled on Monday. Biderman says there’s a similar boost in interest from neglected wives and girlfriends after Valentine’s Day. Read the rest of this entry
LIFE COMES WITH SO FEW GUARANTEES… DEATH.TAXES…
AND A GUARANTEED AFFAIR!?!
Wildly popular infidelity dating site AshleyMadison.com promises members an “Affair to Remember” within three months or their money back.
The naughty folks at AshleyMadison.com have struck again. In the wake of Oprahs new series “Why Men Cheat,” the dating site specifically designed to help married people cheat on their spouses has announced a brand new promotion. Members who purchase an Ashley Madison “Affair Guarantee” Package and don’t experience an Affair to Remember within three months will receive a complete refund. Take that Match.com! According to Ashley Madison President, Noel Biderman, “Oprah wants to know why men cheat. Because they can! Particularly on Ashley Madison.” Read the rest of this entry
